This is a guest post from Elaine at Military Wife After God. I’ve been honoured to meet her and have great long-distance conversation and I respect the journey that she is on as the mom of four little ones. I’ve had one of ‘those’ days today, so was excited to read her guest post.
Dear Overwhelmed Mom,
To those moms who are struggling with their children on a daily basis, on an hourly basis even: I’ve been there! I still visit there!
I know what it’s like to feel so completely out of control and to dread going out to public places or even family events and stress about how your child/children will act. I know what it’s like to not be invited places because of how your children act.
Trust me when I say God can and will help you!
Go to Him. Every. Single. Day. Multiple times a day. Especially as a parent.
Anyone with children needs God to direct them because, let’s face it, raising children is ridiculously difficult. Especially raising Christian children in this world.
It is too easy to jump to anger or have no patience when they do something inappropriate or completely unacceptable.
But God is not like that with us.
He is slow to anger and loves us no matter what we do (and we do far worse than our children sometimes).
We need to reflect that love of Christ towards our children so that is passed onto them! Not the anger and impatience. We need to stop that trend at us! This world needs more of Christ’s love! This is how we achieve that in the world. J
Our children are not ours, they are His!
We need to raise them the way He wants us to and love them the way He calls us to.
We need to be the mothers and fathers He created us to be.
Show your children what God’s true love is so they can know God and grow in true happiness.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
You don’t want to miss those moments when they’re so young. I used to be terrified of having so many regrets with my parenting by the time all my boys grew up, but I had absolutely no clue how to change. I felt stuck. Then I found God! I had a sudden abundance of patience for my children almost instantly after I started spending more time with Him, leaning on Him, and talking to Him.
I’m not saying I stopped struggling. I still struggle daily – that is part of being in this fallen world – but I can catch myself more often than not and respond lovingly in frustrating situations. Everything is a struggle! But through God, we can face those struggles head on and more often than not respond the way God wants us to.
Go to God now! Study His Word every day, spend time with Him every day! Beg to Him on your knees about what to do on those days when you’re so fed up with your children. Tell Him you’re handing them over to Him because they’re His to begin with! And ask for His guidance and patience to pour over you so you can enjoy those little babies while they’re still babies. That time goes by so fast! Pray to not let the anger consume you so often.
I know how that feels!
I know how it feels to be so out of control and just stand there and watch their ridiculous fits over a shoe. Or over a crumb placed incorrectly.
I know how embarrassing some of those fits can be and how difficult they make it to be patient with them and slow to anger when they act that way.
I have learned that you need to have the stronger will than your strong-willed child and approach them with patience and love.
God says “love is patient” first, so with patience, love begins to grow! Your children learn love from you.
So get down on the floor and build lego buildings with your children. Play dress-up with them.
Read to them. No matter how exhausted you are, hold them and read to them.
Hug them and kiss them goodnight no matter how angry you are at them.
Those are the memories that will stick with them. And you will go to bed feeling like you’ve conquered the world of motherhood, too. You won’t have those regrets and those questions of what could I have done differently running through your mind at the end of every day when everything is quiet.
It is our job to raise our children in Christ – that’s why God gives us children in the first place! Show your children what forgiveness is, that your love in not situational but unending and unconditional. Show them the Christ in you!
Elaine is a wife of 5 years to Luke, a military spouse, and a mommy to 4 boys ages 4 and under (including one set of twins!). Her husband is currently away on his third tour but will be returning home soon and will meet their youngest son (4 months old) for the first time! She is passionate about sharing God’s Word to other wives and mommies out there about just how incredible He is to us and that we can lean on Him for absolutely anything in our lives. Especially godly parenting!